Confessions of a Blogaholic

Today, I am soooooooooooooo tired. I almost feel bad for admitting that because I am JUST going back to work, and I definitely shouldn't be so exhausted already. I think (hope?) it's more baby-related than anything else. I don't really sleep when I take naps, but I lie there in and out of sleep and never feel rested when I get up.

I am so thankful to be able to feel this way. I am so thankful for this baby.

Sometimes, I feel like I need to run to the grocery store to buy some HPTs because it's been awhile since I've been crampy or experienced any symptoms. I almost worry that there is no baby, or that I'm no longer pregnant, or even (and this one is still weird) that I'm dreaming all of this and it's not real. If I could just POAS every day and still see that 2nd line, all of this would be so much easier to deal with. But, obviously, that would be WAY EXPENSIVE.

My g-ma did not receive her chemotherapy today, because her red blood cell count was too low. This is the first chemo she has had to skip entirely because of the pre-treatment work-up results. She goes next Tuesday for another try, but if her blood cells are still low, she will need a blood transfusion that day.

The other day, she was talking to my aunt (word travels like diarrhea in my family) about my baby. She said that since she doesn't know if she'll be around when it's born she wants to go to some of the ultrasounds. OF COURSE she can go to the ultrasounds, but I don't even want to think of her not being here when the baby comes along.