Confessions of a Blogaholic

While I am anxiously awaiting the arrival of this baby, I'm creating a list of things I SHOULD NOT do because they are detrimental to my psychological well-being. At the very top of that list is...watching A Baby Story on TLC. HOLY CRAP! There is nothing worse than watching what I'm about the go through a some point in the next week. So, no more baby story for now. It's more terrifying than informative.

Doctor's appointment today. Will update later.

Update from doc's appointment...
2 cm dilated
Still 80% effaced
Baby is -2/-1 station

Doc stripped my membranes. FYI--I think ONLY people with LONG fingers should strip membranes as the most painful part of that process was his knuckles bashing into my woman parts. Stripping membranes releases hormones that should help initiate labor; however, if the procedure is going to work, it will do so within 48 hours. It is now about 36 hours after I've had it done, and I've got nothing.

Next appointment is Tuesday. I will be begging for an induction at that point. Doc said yesterday that because my cervix is so favorable and my hip position and size are perfect for birthing a possibly larger baby, there is a less than 30% chance that induction would lead me to a c-section.

Maybe the full moon tonight will help things along?

Little more than 1 cm dilated.

80% effaced.

-2 station.

Could be tonight or two weeks from now.

Will induce next week if I want as a result of +3 swelling. I'm a hot, swollen mess, lol

Only 1 day of work left, and I couldn't be happier.

What I'm thinking these days: "Is that a cramp? Oh my gosh, that has to be a cramp! Should I time it? ... Nevermind, just gas"

Yesterday, I felt pretty good for the first time in a while. I had some (only a little, but still some) energy, and we actually made it to a couple stores, finished the thank you cards (with my supremely and completely NUMB fingers), cleaned a little, packed the hospital bags for myself and the baby, and Nathan dyed my hair.

Today, I am back to feeling like shit. Probably worse than I have ever felt. I'm tired, my hips feel like they are breaking, the swelling in my feet will not go down no matter how high and for high long I keep them elevated, and I am so ready to chop my right hand off just so I finally have some feeling in it. My eye is swollen, but that's related to the fact that I've had my contacts in WAY TOO LONG, but I can't take them out until tonight because I don't have any glasses. Boo to feeling like poop.

But like the title of this post says, there is only a little bit of complaining time left...then, it will FINALLY all be worth it. I hope all my aches and pains go away quickly after Miss Rylee comes along :)

I should make a very important note here about how insanely wonderful my husband has been especially in these last few weeks. When I am completely exhausted and sore and struggling just to make it to and from the bathroom, he is stepping up and taking care of so much. When my feet are so swollen they look like my toes are about to pop off, he massages them and keeps trying to come up with ideas that will help (like letting me elevate them on his legs at night or wrapping them in ACE bandages). He has been doing the cooking, cleaning, and taking care of everything. AND he does it all without complaining. It's like he knows it takes me MUCH longer and MUCH more effort to do things, so he just does them for me. I have never appreciated him as much as I do now, and I have never needed his help as much as I have in the last couple of weeks. I just keep thinking how awesome he is going to be as a dad and I'm so thankful that Rylee will get a shot at a much better father than I had!

This is all almost over. Only a couple days left of work before I begin my maternity leave on Wednesday--thank goodness.

Baby is measuring 7 pounds 6 ounces. She's gonna be a big'un, and I am beyond ready for her to get the heck out, but Big Bertha is hanging on...Maybe she knows it will be a long time until she can have chocolate again?

Amniotic level is at a 9, normal is 5-25cm.

Dilated 1 cm, 50% effaced, but head is not fully engaged yet.

Doc says he thinks I'll deliver in the next week. We'll see if he's right!

Here's Charlie, who has made himself at home in the baby's newborn napper.

Too cute...in all honesty, I'm fairly certain that when the baby comes home, the cats will be in hiding until she's 2!

Here's me at 37 weeks and 4 days. I am pretty darn big.

Stretch marks are amazing. They literally show up overnight. On Wednesday during my 36 week, I didn't have them. Then, BAM! Overnight, I had little purple marks all over my lower belly. Same thing has happened this week...I went from little purple marks (about 1/2 inch long) to BIG purple marks (2-3 inches long) overnight. I've been using cocoa butter this entire pregnancy, so I hope they disappear soon.

Tomorrow is my 38-weeks appointment. I have another growth ultrasound to check the baby's weight and, I assume, another nonstress test to check that the good ole' placenta is still doing its job. My mom is going with me to this appointment since Nathan has to work and there was no way to work this around his schedule.

Again, I ask you....Is it too much to ask that tomorrow be the day? I am still desperate. I don't have my hospital bag packed yet, but I feel like doing so will jinx me or something. Please...and I mean PLEASE let tomorrow be the day!

That was MY LAST shopping trip alone for at least the next three weeks. I went to Walmart, and the whole experience was HORRIBLE. Let me tell you what went wrong...

First, let me say that I got up at 7:45am to get to the store before the crowds, which worked perfectly, but it was about the ONLY good part of the trip.

Then, my trip got crazy...

1. There was a spot up front (like right up front!), but as I started to pull into it, I realized there were 4 carts sitting in the middle of it. So, I get out and have to push them out of the way. No biggie, but it was a start to all the annoyances.

2. I'm getting a cart and this little girl (like 7 or so) comes running out of nowhere and full-steam runs into my ass. Her mom says, "Watch where you're going!" to her, not me. No, "Say I'm sorry" or "excuse me." Let's teach our kids some manners, people.

3. The whole store was completely changed around and I couldn't find anything. Walmart is supposed to be a consistent standard for shoppers. You're supposed to go into one and be able to find everything because it should be in the same location as every other Walmart! Not the case.

4. I went to pick up a 25-pound bag of cat litter (yes, I know I am not supposed to pick things up that are that heavy), and I was struggling. Half of the struggle was my numb hands, and the other half was the weight and my full cart. Like 10 people walked by while I struggled and NONE of them offered to help. The cart was literally rolling backward because I was trying to set the litter on the bottom, and nothing. No one even tried to hold it in place.

5. I go to check out and one of my yogurts has exploded all over the place in my cart. I asked the cashier if he has a paper towel, and he says no. I say, "Ok, it's all over the belt, and I just want to clean it off for you." He says, "Well, I don't have any." So, I look at the next register over, see paper towels, leave his lane to go and get them and clean it myself. WTF? So much or trying to help someone out.

6. Now....here's part 1 of the kicker! I pick up my carton of Dr. Thunder (we NEVER get pop, so this is like a treat for us), and it breaks ALL OVER THE PLACE. There are cans rolling everywhere. Instead of helping me fumble around and struggle to reach them on the floor, the other customers in line AND the oh-so-cooperative cashier start bitching because it's taking me so long. Bending, squatting, and picking things up are NO LONGER EASY FOR ME, people. SOMEONE SHOULD HELP A PREGNANT LADY OUT!!!!

7. Part 2 of the kicker happened in the parking lot. By this point, I was sore, had to pee, and was sweating like a rotisserie chicken. I'm loading all the crap in my Jeep hatch, and a car pulls up with her turn signal on to take my spot. Fine. I don't care about that. I start to walk (more like mosey, since that seems to be my current walking speed) the cart to the cart thingy and the lady rolls her window down and says (in an extremely bitchy tone), "Um...excuse me, I am waiting on your spot." I look at her like, "uh...ok. And you want me to what...?" I finish moseying the cart over while she throws some exasperated hand signals around in her impatient bitchiness. I get in my jeep, start it up, and....can't even move because lady has me blocked in. Finally, she reverses, like a foot (oh, thanks so much!). I pull out but, of course, cannot pull forward to get out. She throws her hands around again (I wonder if she has tourette's?) before backing up an appropriate amount and I can finally move. I wave at her and smile as I pass--after all, my life is obviously so much better than hers.

I have 18 days left until my due date. At no point during those 18 days am I going to go to any store at all by myself. I'm done. Finished.

I believe myself to be a terribly patient person. I have to be in my line of work. For example, working with freshmen, I will be asked the same question (after I've already given the directions and written them on the board) over 27 times in one day. Let me elaborate. I can give a writing assignment and say, "You need to write between 5-7 sentences". Then, I will write it on the board "5-7 sentences per answer". Then, being a bit of a smartass, I'll have the kids look at me and repeat after me, "5-7", (them) "5-7", (me) "Sentences", (them) "Sentences." No lie...in less than 5 minutes, at least 3 students per class period will say, "Wait...how many sentences did she say?" And I will calmly reply, "5-7." Kids can be exasperating, but I have the patience of a saint to deal with them every day and to love my job.

I do not, however, have much patience left with the pregnancy. I feel like absolute crap. I can only sleep on my left side at night now, and anytime I try to roll over, which takes a lot of grunting, pulling, and effort in the first place (I'm thinking a crane could help with these endeavors), I wake up less than a few minutes later to roll back to my left side. I have to sleep with 5 pillows! 5 PILLOWS to prop all the portions of my body into position. My feet are constantly Shrek-sized; I mean FREAKISHLY disproportionate monstrosities of their former selves. I have stopped tying my tennis shoes and instead tuck the shoelaces into the sides of the shoes because my feet will not fit otherwise. My right hand is now constantly numb--it used to come and go throughout the night an maybe last a little into the day, but now, it is ALL DAY LONG. The tips of my thumb, forefinger, and middle finger haven't had any feeling at all for at least the last week. Then, there's this double/triple chin thing that has grown the last couple weeks. I thought your weight was supposed to basically stop raising in the last month or so of pregnancy, but I have watched my double/triple chin growing exponentially each day. It is absolutely awful to look at myself. I feel so gross and disgusting.

I can't get up, I can't bend over, I can't stop sleeping, my clothes are starting to not fit again, and the right side of my ribs feel like they are broken on the inside.

But still....no real signs of the baby making her grand entrance into the world. I've had a few braxton hicks contractions here and there (very rare) and what feels like some intense punches to the cervix every now and then, but other than that...nothing. I feel like this baby is never coming out. She feels HUGE. I've had no cervical checks or anything, and without any reassurance that anything is happening, I feel that much more pessimistic.

I try bribing her nightly, because if she's anything like her daddy, it should work. Every night, I promise her increasing amounts of money if she decides to come out. We started with $20..."Mommy will give you $20 if you get out of her tonight!" The other night, Nathan jumped in, "Daddy will give you a CAR one day if you get out!" So far, it's not working. Maybe she's stubborn like her mother...if that's the case, she'll come when she's no longer comfortable in her super comfy bed.