Confessions of a Blogaholic

That is an awful picture, but it was too good to pass up.

I tested this morning at 13dpiui, 12dpo, and got the starkest-white line ever. I can't honestly say I'm surprised. I mean, in now 17 months of trying (almost enough time for two Irish Twin babies), I've never seen that second line other than when medically-induced. Who knows? Maybe I can't even get pregnant and all we have been through has been for nothing.

I'm confused about being so hungry for 5 days, but I guess we can just chock that up to another phantom symptom of being on the IF rollercoaster.

So now, we wait for AF to show up again so we can move on with yet another fucking cycle. I'm going to request to switch to injects as the Clomid obviously isn't doing it for us (5 cycles of it already). In all honesty, we are fairly close to the end of our IF road, which I know sounds strange to some of you who have been doing this for years, but I can't see doing more than 5 or 6 IUIs (depending on the cost with injects), and we decided back in February that we would not do IVF. So, if I don't get any cysts, 5 or 6 IUIs is about another 5 or 6 months.

I must admit that I'm a little upset with my RE. I think more testing should be done, particularly after O. I have never had post-O testing. So, what if I should need some type of progesterone to support implantation? What if I've been "almost pregnant" all these cycles, but the egg couldn't implant for some reason? What if I didn't actually O despite the HCG? What is my eggs are a horrible quality (that should be shown in some sort of blood test, right?)? Other than my initial work-up when I had my consultation, I've had no other blood drawn for anything.

It's just easier to accept that it's over than it is to hold out any hope for any change this weekend. Thanks for keeping up with me this cycle :)