Friday, May 1, 2009

I'm trying not to get too excited about having two maturing follicles, but I have to admit, having twins would be incredible!

Yesterday morning, before my appointment, I was standing in the shower thinking about a discussion I had had with each of my classes the previous day. We talked about fate and how it plays a role in our lives. I began thinking maybe I am screwing with fate by taking these fertility meds. Maybe the reason I haven't gotten pregnant yet is because it isn't the right time...there are other things to be done first. The things that have happened so far this year (and will happen in the near future) are life-changing, stressful, BIG events: first real teaching job, purchase of a brand new vehicle, purchase of a house. Maybe I haven't gotten pregnant because I am supposed to get these things in order first, and maybe it would have happened naturally at the right time.

Then, I saw those two beautiful follicles on the ultrasound. You couldn't miss the big black spots--beautiful. And I thought...maybe twins (or at least a double shot at a singleton) is my reward for having to wait this long? Maybe I JUST found out about being approved for the house on Monday because I was destined to have twins and I'd need the reassurance of knowing our living situation would be ok. Perhaps this is the exact way that things were supposed to happen.

I am excited about this cycle. I feel incredibly optimistic again. I'm hoping for the best!

1 props:

MrsV said...

Funny how you can't help thinking about fate. It took my older sister a year to get pregnant with her first and she had the same thoughts you did, like if it was supposed to happen it would and that kind of thing.
She is a die-hard Catholic and when her doctor immediately went to fertility drugs after only a few short months of trying she found another doctor who told her to try for a year before they would try alternative methods. She ended up pregnant with no help. So I do believe the relaxation part of it is important. However the one HUGE difference between you and her is the ovulation problem. The way I see it if you had left it to fate completely you might have never found out about the ovulation problem and could have waited a long time to find out you needed a little extra help. I think it is fate for you to become a mother, but sometimes fate needs a little push. And it is still up to fate if you have one or two babies, and which cyle it will be. I guess fate cannot be escaped, right?