Confessions of a Blogaholic

I. Feel. Awful.

I'm not disillusioned enough to think that I would have pg symptoms at 4dpo, 5dp trigger. No, I'm not. So, please don't think I'm that crazy infertile who looks so deeply into her symptoms as to believe herself into being pregnant. I do, however, feel ABSOLUTELY disgusting this cycle. Let me describe...

Sunday night at 8:30 (O-time at 9:30): I was literally sitting on the couch playing a computer game when I realized how close I was to O-ing. I turned to Nathan and said, "Are you ready? We're about an hour away from O!" I then stood up and felt an almost crippling cramp in a spot of my back about 6 inches above the trigger and 3 or so inches to the right of my spine.

Monday: So much pain in that same spot of my back that I had to stand ALL day at work.

Tuesday: Still so much pain in the same spot that I had to stand, PLUS so much nausea starting around 3pm that I could only eat a few grapes for dinner. The thought of eating real dinner made my mouth get that nauseous, "I'm about to vomit" feeling.

Wednesday: Back pain still (finally got smart and wore flat flip-flops thinking that might help, it didn't) and same nausea.

Today: Back pain is finally subsiding (only coming sporadically throughout the day), still nauseous, new annoyance---gagging. In the 6 years that we have had cats who do disgusting things in their litter box, I have NEVER gagged or even come close to it, but this afternoon, I went to clean the litter box, and I gagged SO HARD I actually turned and positioned myself over the toilet in case anything was coming up. Also, this whole evening, I have been smelling spoiled milk. I have looked EVERYWHERE for anything that could even remotely resemble the spoiled milk smell, and I've found nothing. Yet, still, spoiled milk smell, and if I breathe too deeply, I feel a gag growing in my throat.

I seriously feel DISGUSTING. Not ill, just awkwardly disgusting.