What a difference a year makes...
10 years ago
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
**Side note: I always thought it was funny that "devil" backward is "lived". Random.**
Anyhow...
I always wondered why pregnant women complained about having a difficult time watching TV when they were pregnant. I thought it was dumb, to be honest. Why worry about things beyond your control? What will be will be. I've heard some women complain about shows like CSI being too graphic or even the NEWS being too depressing (for God's sake! It's the news!!). I never understood how something as simple as a television could be so awful to pregnant women.
But, now I kinda get it.
Just in the last week, I've started having this new....um....development in my journey to mommyhood. Every time I watch TV, I seem to find SOMEthing difficult to watch. For instance...on Grey's Anatomy last week, this girl was in the hospital with no heart and her parents weren't there. I found myself thinking, "Oh, please don't EVER let me have to deal with my child in the hospital." Or, when those St. Jude's commercials come on, I find myself thinking, "Please don't let me go through that. Please let my baby be ok and perfect forever." Or, the news will talk about some rape story or even those women that were murdered in Cle.veland, and I'll think, "Not my daughter. I can't let this happen to my little girl."
So, I now understand why pregnant women freak out about the things they hear and see on TV. I haven't even had this baby yet, and I'm already worried about her life 20 years down the road. I'm already afraid she'll get pregnant as a teenager, or struggle with obesity. I'm worried she'll have a difficult time in school, and I won't know how to help her because so much of me expects her to enjoy school the way that I did. I'm freaked out that someone will do something awful and evil to her and destroy all that is good about innocence and childhood. I'm afraid something will happen someday in the distant, distant future and I'll get "the phone call" that no parent wants to have. I understand how other pregnant women feel when they say TV can get to be too much sometimes; it reminds me what a crappy world I have to protect my daughter from.
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Is is very scary when you think about your future, especially when you think about your "future kids". Jason and I have talked about numerous things I've been through in my life(alot whom alot of my family don't even know about) and how if someone did that to our child, we would kill them. Especially if it was a little girl...etc. Makes you kinda scared to even think about having kids, at least for me. Shoot girl, I'm not even pregnant and I watch tv and get upset sometimes, but I'm such a worry wart(like my mom)..I think about all the negative and never really hear the positive things they say on tv, which is why I hardly watch tv, even now. Growing up it was normal, you know, not having a tv...etc, now that I have one--I honestly hardly ever watch it. If anything its usually Mythbusters and Cartoons with Jason LOL Or the food network and HDTV.
Hang in there :)
Hate to tell ya girl, but it doesn't get better. You go from checking them every few minutes after they are born, just to make sure they are still breathing to checking on them when they are older just to make sure they are warm in their beds. You can't let them go potty alone.....you just couldn't live with yourself if.... it only gets worse. I pretty much NEVER watch TV. I just can't! Welcome to Motherhood!!!
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