Confessions of a Blogaholic

I'm posting less and less anymore. I knew that would happen once school started.

I realized today that so far this school year, I have not 1) Yelled at any of the kids, 2) Sent any of the kids to the hallway, or 3) Left at the end of the day feeling like a complete and total failure. Part of the explanation for this is that I am letting a whole lot more just slide off my shoulders this year. For instance, when a kid is texting when they are supposed to be reading silently--last year, I would have made a scene, taken the phone, etc. This year, I ignore it--it's their grade. They are given this time to work, and if they choose not to do so, they have to live with the consequences. It's not that I don't care, it just feels like a waste of negative energy to go through the steps. Now, if that cell phone or game thing is out in the open, where they are obviously not trying to hide it, I will resort to my plan from last year.

Another thing I've realized is that I am not taking THEIR failures personally. Last year, I got so offended when kids didn't do their homework. I was annoyed and pissed when they failed quizzes and tests or wrote things in their essays that I specifically spent 3 days telling them not to do ("In this paper, I will tell you..." and "In conclusion,..."). This year, I'm not taking any offense at all. They are kids. They don't listen. They zone out when I'm talking sometimes. This doesn't make me a bad teacher, although I spent 3 years taking classes that said IF this happened, then YOU-the teacher- weren't ENGAGING the kids and using APPROPRIATE means to reach out to them. THAT mindset is bullshit. I could do the chicken dance to the "Thong Song" while throwing out Chipotle burritos and some of those kids WILL. NOT. PAY. ATTENTION. So, this year...it's not MY fault when they fail. They let THEMSELVES down, not me. I'm thinking this is growth as a teacher.

Finally, speaking with parents doesn't bug me as much. I'm more confident in what I'm doing, and I have more belief that what I am doing is right. So, I'm better able to defend my assignments and to explain why an essay is a 60% to the parent of an honors kid. I can stand my ground because I know the fundamentals behind my expectations, and I stand by them. No matter how upset the parent gets.

This year...I feel like a good teacher. I feel like they are learning some things, and I am finding free time. THIS is what teaching is supposed to be like, and I'm glad I'm still enjoying it :)