What a difference a year makes...
11 years ago
Monday, April 13, 2009
Today, I am technically 9dpo (days past ovulation) until 10pm tonight. I thought yesterday was 9dpo, but it was actually 10dpt (days past trigger).
Regardless, I started testing yesterday and got my first Big Fat Negative (bfn). This was the negative I was hoping for, because it means the trigger is now completely out of my system--I needed to see that negative before any positive could be reliable. I tested again this morning only to see another negative. Granted, I definitely knew it was too early, but I thought maybe it would show a faint positive. Then, on the ride home from school, I spent about 25 minutes talking myself out of POAS when I got home ('it's not even your fmu anymore!' 'You're just going to disappoint yourself.' 'But wouldn't it be cool if it was positive and you could take a picture of it with your phone and send it to Nathan while he's at work???'). Of course, that didn't work, and I ended up testing again when I got home.
I am fighting the urge already to stop myself from jumping up in the morning and testing again. At this rate, I'll be out of tests by Wednesday, lol. But I sooo want to see those two lines or that "pregnant" as soon as humanly possible, and plenty of research says it's feasible by 10dpo. I know so much about HCG levels in early pregnancy and the most reliable tests and how much HCG each various test brand can detect...all this knowledge in an attempt to make that test positive.
In all honesty...I've got myself so set on getting a positive this week that I'm not sure what I'll do if I get bfn's all week. So far, I've seen 3 bfn's, and each one makes me feel just a little more disappointed--yes, yes, I know it is still SOOOOO EARLY.
This has officially been the most difficult 11 days of my life as far as my patience has been concerned.
Labels: babies
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2 props:
As a chronic former POASer, I say resist the urge as much as possible.
For my 1st IVF I poas daily for about eight days. I got SO in the dumps about it that I'm sure my negative attitude didn't help things.
Yes, it is still to early, but if you can hold yourself back, I would. That way you can stay blissfully positive for as long as possible.
I'm keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you!!!!!!!!!
Kristen, you are so right. I never thought about staying "blissfully positive" (i.e. not looking for news is better than getting bad news, lol). What an excellent way to think about it. I am going to hold off until Wednesday.
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