Confessions of a Blogaholic

Well, folks, I think this cycle was a bust. This morning, 14dpo, I got another bfn, and for the first time since I started taking the hpts, I actually cried. I cried while patiently waiting, hoping the other line would show; I cried in the shower; I cried while brushing my teeth; I cried while trying to do my hair. I've come to terms with the failure of this cycle, and I'm so sad.

I cannot understand why I have to continue to go through months of disappointment when so many people have such an easy time getting pregnant. My God, getting pregnant is the one thing my body is designed to do and despite 13 months of trying, I have been unsuccessful in doing it.

Since 12 of my 13 months TTC were in vain because of anovulatory cycles, this was the first real chance I've ever had at getting pg. This was the first time all the pieces and parts were in the right places at the right times, and still...nothing. I am unbelievable heartbroken and disappointed.

For those that think there may still be a chance, let me school you in the mathematics of reproduction. HCG trigger= O 36 hours later (Friday night two weeks ago); 6-12 days after O, implantation takes place (at the latestWednesday); 2 days after that, the HCG hormone shows up (should've been today). There is very little chance that tomorrow's hpt will show anything other than what I've seen the last 5 days.

Again, totally heartbroken and disappointed.