Confessions of a Blogaholic

Ok, let's start from the beginning....I got up this morning, feeling ok, a little hot, but ok. I had to take a cold shower because I was pretty warm. When I got out of the shower, I was cold, but was sweating bullets like crazy--one of those insane cold sweats, but worse. It was dripping down my face. I started to get a little nauseous standing at the counter to brush my teeth, so I sat on the side of the tub. I started thinking, "This is it. I'm gonna puke. I've got morning sickness." After about 10 minutes of sitting there, I got REALLY HOT and decided I HAD to make it to the bedroom to sit in front of the fan. This is where all the trouble started.

I stood up, and by the time I reached the bathroom door, my vision started to turn black. I couldn't see anything. I stumbled against the walls of the hall trying desperately to make it to the bedroom before I fell over. Somehow, I ended up in the doorway to our office. I knew that's where I was standing, but I still couldn't see anything and I was still stumbling everywhere. Then, my whole body started to convulse. My arms were flailing against either side of the door jam. I kept thinking, "Get your hand on the door so you don't fall! Get your hand on the door!" But, as I tried to raise my hand, it just kept flailing everywhere.

Finally my sight came back enough for me to stumble back to the bathroom (again, hitting the walls super hard along the way). I started screaming, "Nathan! Nathan! Oh my God! Nathan!" and he came running upstairs. At some point, I fell to my knees and started crawling. When I got to the tub again, I hoisted myself up to sit on it. Nathan came into the bathroom and I told him he needed to take me to the emergency room; I thought I was having a seizure or a stroke or something. Finally, I got sick...ah, precious release. As soon as I puked, I was ok. No more blacking out or dizziness.

Regardless, I called the RE this afternoon and they wanted me to get in there today at 2:15. So, we went. They ran as many tests as an infertility doctor can, and then did the ultrasound.

The sweet, sweet ultrasound...

First, she looked at my ovaries, which are HUGE!!! A fully-mature follicle is about 20mm, I have cysts in both my ovaries that are around 38mm big!!! She said it's no wonder I've put on 5 pounds, had the cramping issues, and can't fit into my jeans already. Unfortunately, there's nothing they can do for those now. I just have to wait them out, but she said they would go away eventually.

Then, she looked at my uterus, and there was a sweet, sweet circle (or two, more about that in a minute) with a baby bean inside. We got to hear the baby's heartbeat and even see it on the screen. I wish I wasn't so sick, because I would have been so much more excited. What a beautiful little heartbeat--we're not fully out of the woods for miscarriage, but our risks are significantly lower (like 5-10% chance).

About that second circle...it kept popping up a little ways away from the for-sure baby. She said it was DEEEP in my uterus and pushed so hard to try and see it that I thought I would pee!! She couldn't say for sure yet if it was a second sac, but she said it is very possible. She said though my beta numbers weren't exorbitantly high, it is possible that a second egg implanted late, which wouldn't affect my betas when they were originally taken (early). Both Nathan and I kept thinking we saw a white spot against the side of the second sac, but the doc said it is too early to say yes or no on it. Even the possibility is amazing!!!

This whole process is so wonderful. Even when I was going through hell this morning, I was so happy to know that it's the result of a baby inside of me :) I'm going to be a mother, and Nathan is going to be a fantastic father. How insane!