Confessions of a Blogaholic

I'm having a bit of a teacher dilemma today. The list of student failures which shows student names, teacher names, and grades went out today, and I saw my name all over that list. All-in-all, out of the 120 students I have in English 9 (not counting my yearbook kids, obviously), almost 10 kids (8%) failed my class either one or both semesters.

Let me tell you what steps I took to help these kids be successful...I called home and spoke to parents who would speak to me; I stayed after school until 9pm on conference nights to be available for parent conferences; I sent letters home to parents who I couldn't reach by phone or email; I gave the kids plenty of work time to do homework, read, write, work, etc.; Our school policy gives them the opportunity to turn work in late for a 60%; I tried to make my lessons engaging and interesting; I kept on kids who were missing assignments or who I observed not working; I moved kids who had low grades to the very front of the class so I could keep a good eye on them; I keep daily up-to-date calendars and grades/tracking missing assignments on our online grading system which both parents and students have access to.

I feel like I try my best to encourage kids, but I will be the first to admit that I sometimes give up. I have a few students who failed my class with 15% and lower. Do I believe they are capable of doing better? Absolutely. But why and how do I keep encouraging them when they don't do anything? There is no worse feeling, I think, than putting myself out there (as the teacher) and telling a kid I want him to be successful and to have that same kid, week after week, sit in my class doing nothing. I am personally disappointed when I see that 8% of my kids failed, and I wonder what I could do any differently. After all, that's all we hear about from administrators, parents, society, and the Federal government, "If kids fail, it's because the teachers are failing them!" So, what is it I can do differently? How do I help these kids learn what I want them to learn without sacrificing my expectations?

Looking forward to next year...I'm trying to figure out what I need to work on for myself as a person to be a better teacher. I know I'm tough, and by tough I mean that tears and excuses fall on deaf ears with me...But maybe I need to be a little more compassionate? Maybe I need to spend more time getting to know the misfits and the outcasts because the "popular", "funny", and "loud/obnoxious" kids tend to gravitate toward me. So, how do I build a rapport with the misfits and outcasts? How do I keep from giving up on those kids who aggravate me when they do nothing in my class? How do I make learning more accessible without giving away the answers?

And the even tougher question...in a 47-period class of 25-28 kids, how do I zero in on the one that needs my help and give him the encouragement/motivation he needs to be successful?

Failures make me feel like I have failed, but I still hold to my conviction that ALL I can do as a teacher is give access to knowledge and education; it is ultimately up to the student to choose to learn. Am I truly giving each and every one of my students the best possible access to what I am trying to teach them? If not, how can I change?