Confessions of a Blogaholic

That was MY LAST shopping trip alone for at least the next three weeks. I went to Walmart, and the whole experience was HORRIBLE. Let me tell you what went wrong...

First, let me say that I got up at 7:45am to get to the store before the crowds, which worked perfectly, but it was about the ONLY good part of the trip.

Then, my trip got crazy...

1. There was a spot up front (like right up front!), but as I started to pull into it, I realized there were 4 carts sitting in the middle of it. So, I get out and have to push them out of the way. No biggie, but it was a start to all the annoyances.

2. I'm getting a cart and this little girl (like 7 or so) comes running out of nowhere and full-steam runs into my ass. Her mom says, "Watch where you're going!" to her, not me. No, "Say I'm sorry" or "excuse me." Let's teach our kids some manners, people.

3. The whole store was completely changed around and I couldn't find anything. Walmart is supposed to be a consistent standard for shoppers. You're supposed to go into one and be able to find everything because it should be in the same location as every other Walmart! Not the case.

4. I went to pick up a 25-pound bag of cat litter (yes, I know I am not supposed to pick things up that are that heavy), and I was struggling. Half of the struggle was my numb hands, and the other half was the weight and my full cart. Like 10 people walked by while I struggled and NONE of them offered to help. The cart was literally rolling backward because I was trying to set the litter on the bottom, and nothing. No one even tried to hold it in place.

5. I go to check out and one of my yogurts has exploded all over the place in my cart. I asked the cashier if he has a paper towel, and he says no. I say, "Ok, it's all over the belt, and I just want to clean it off for you." He says, "Well, I don't have any." So, I look at the next register over, see paper towels, leave his lane to go and get them and clean it myself. WTF? So much or trying to help someone out.

6. Now....here's part 1 of the kicker! I pick up my carton of Dr. Thunder (we NEVER get pop, so this is like a treat for us), and it breaks ALL OVER THE PLACE. There are cans rolling everywhere. Instead of helping me fumble around and struggle to reach them on the floor, the other customers in line AND the oh-so-cooperative cashier start bitching because it's taking me so long. Bending, squatting, and picking things up are NO LONGER EASY FOR ME, people. SOMEONE SHOULD HELP A PREGNANT LADY OUT!!!!

7. Part 2 of the kicker happened in the parking lot. By this point, I was sore, had to pee, and was sweating like a rotisserie chicken. I'm loading all the crap in my Jeep hatch, and a car pulls up with her turn signal on to take my spot. Fine. I don't care about that. I start to walk (more like mosey, since that seems to be my current walking speed) the cart to the cart thingy and the lady rolls her window down and says (in an extremely bitchy tone), "Um...excuse me, I am waiting on your spot." I look at her like, "uh...ok. And you want me to what...?" I finish moseying the cart over while she throws some exasperated hand signals around in her impatient bitchiness. I get in my jeep, start it up, and....can't even move because lady has me blocked in. Finally, she reverses, like a foot (oh, thanks so much!). I pull out but, of course, cannot pull forward to get out. She throws her hands around again (I wonder if she has tourette's?) before backing up an appropriate amount and I can finally move. I wave at her and smile as I pass--after all, my life is obviously so much better than hers.

I have 18 days left until my due date. At no point during those 18 days am I going to go to any store at all by myself. I'm done. Finished.