Confessions of a Blogaholic

I believe myself to be a terribly patient person. I have to be in my line of work. For example, working with freshmen, I will be asked the same question (after I've already given the directions and written them on the board) over 27 times in one day. Let me elaborate. I can give a writing assignment and say, "You need to write between 5-7 sentences". Then, I will write it on the board "5-7 sentences per answer". Then, being a bit of a smartass, I'll have the kids look at me and repeat after me, "5-7", (them) "5-7", (me) "Sentences", (them) "Sentences." No lie...in less than 5 minutes, at least 3 students per class period will say, "Wait...how many sentences did she say?" And I will calmly reply, "5-7." Kids can be exasperating, but I have the patience of a saint to deal with them every day and to love my job.

I do not, however, have much patience left with the pregnancy. I feel like absolute crap. I can only sleep on my left side at night now, and anytime I try to roll over, which takes a lot of grunting, pulling, and effort in the first place (I'm thinking a crane could help with these endeavors), I wake up less than a few minutes later to roll back to my left side. I have to sleep with 5 pillows! 5 PILLOWS to prop all the portions of my body into position. My feet are constantly Shrek-sized; I mean FREAKISHLY disproportionate monstrosities of their former selves. I have stopped tying my tennis shoes and instead tuck the shoelaces into the sides of the shoes because my feet will not fit otherwise. My right hand is now constantly numb--it used to come and go throughout the night an maybe last a little into the day, but now, it is ALL DAY LONG. The tips of my thumb, forefinger, and middle finger haven't had any feeling at all for at least the last week. Then, there's this double/triple chin thing that has grown the last couple weeks. I thought your weight was supposed to basically stop raising in the last month or so of pregnancy, but I have watched my double/triple chin growing exponentially each day. It is absolutely awful to look at myself. I feel so gross and disgusting.

I can't get up, I can't bend over, I can't stop sleeping, my clothes are starting to not fit again, and the right side of my ribs feel like they are broken on the inside.

But still....no real signs of the baby making her grand entrance into the world. I've had a few braxton hicks contractions here and there (very rare) and what feels like some intense punches to the cervix every now and then, but other than that...nothing. I feel like this baby is never coming out. She feels HUGE. I've had no cervical checks or anything, and without any reassurance that anything is happening, I feel that much more pessimistic.

I try bribing her nightly, because if she's anything like her daddy, it should work. Every night, I promise her increasing amounts of money if she decides to come out. We started with $20..."Mommy will give you $20 if you get out of her tonight!" The other night, Nathan jumped in, "Daddy will give you a CAR one day if you get out!" So far, it's not working. Maybe she's stubborn like her mother...if that's the case, she'll come when she's no longer comfortable in her super comfy bed.