Confessions of a Blogaholic

I've started somewhat of a nightly routine with Ry. Every night, she eats at 8pm and is ready to head upstairs at 8:30/9-ish. When we get up to the bedroom (our bedroom as she is still sleeping in the bassinet), she gets a fresh diaper, I swaddle her in a blanket, and she actually pays attention and sits quietly while I read a book (The Very Hungry Caterpillar or Goodnight Moon). I read the book over and over again until she can't pay attention. Then, I put her in the bassinet, turn the vibration and water sounds on, check to make sure the monitor is plugged in, and she falls asleep within five minutes. The whole thing takes about an hour.

Tonight, while going through our routine, I started to think, "I'm never going to have the time to do this once the school year starts! Poor girl, she'll have to go to bed without all of this attention." Suddenly, I had an epiphany! If I stop giving her this attention because of all the grading, planning, and etc. I have to do for my job, then I am putting my job first. If I can't find the time to be her mom because I am a teacher, then teaching is more important than my daughter. And...THAT IS NOT GOING TO BE THE CASE. No longer will I say I don't have time to have a life because I am a teacher. Grading, planning, and etc. can wait--those are my secondary priorities. If I am running out of time and I have to choose between being Mrs. H and being Mommy, Mommy needs to win out every time, and anything that takes me away from being the best possible mom I can be isn't worth my time.

For some, this mindset comes easy, being a mom comes naturally and everything else inherently takes backseat to motherhood. For me, though, I've been driven, motivated, hardcore, Type A my entire life, and being responsible for another person and depended on by that person is a new concept. I guess that's why being a mother makes people put their lives into perspective. There is nothing, absolutely nothing and no one more important than Baby Ry. If ever my actions do not demonstrate this, then it is time to reevaluate and make some changes.