Confessions of a Blogaholic

Today was Ry's bday party (by the way, Jess and Carla--have totally gotten your comments, but keep forgetting to go back and approve to post!!! Will do as soon as I remember!). Rylee had such a good day. For the last month or so, Nathan has texted me pictures of all the cool things he has gotten for his party for her: a princess dress for her to wear, a custom cake, a table and chair gift set, etc etc. And to be honest, I just couldn't afford and didn't have the time to make it a huge deal this year. We reused decorations from last year, bought a premade cake that I just added a few decorations to, bought a couple pizzas for lunch, and I bought he an art easel (on sale!) for her gift. I was feeling pretty crummy about not giving her the big shindig Nathan is throwing...but then I saw how happy and engaged she was with her party. Mom had bought her a blue polka dot dress to wear (adorable picture below), she ate her piece of pizza like a happy champ, opened all of her gifts without getting bored, thanked everyone for what they got her. When we sat down to open gifts, she leaned over and kissed my arm. I said, "did you just wipe your mouth mommy?" and she said, "no, kiss." Then she gave me another kiss and a hug--all without my asking. After everyone left, she napped from 1-5 (!!!), and when I went to wake her, she sat up and said, "happy birfday day, mommy!". She said that several more times as we made our way to the grocery store. I even let her stay up a little late tonight while we watched some of her favorite movie (Tangled), but by 8:20 (only 20 minutes after her usual bedtime), she said, "milky and night night, please.". She knows the routine and was ready to go.

It's not about the parent who spends the most money or even the parent who spends the most time. It's not about who does what for her or who spoils her rotten. When it comes down to it, a kid knows when someone truly loves them. Rylee knows that, and she's only 2. It feels good to be a half-decent parent sometimes.

Tomorrow I take off to Chicago for an international convention for work. It should be a good trip, but I have been running a lot the last couple of weeks, so I'll definitely be ready for the running to be over when I come back wednesday night and I'll be ready for a relaxing weekend next weekend when Ry is at her dad's (once again, one of those nice benefits to shared parenting). Rylee's actual birthday is Friday the 4, so I'll be working from home that day and spending some time with her.

May 11 is my court date to affirm the dissolution. At this point, it's a little up in the air what will happen in terms of Nathan's agreement to the dissolution. Not that he wants to back out, but he may or may not still agree to the custody schedule. Who knows...if not, the stress of the divorce will continue one for who knows how much longer :(. Luckily, Rylee is totally kept in the dark about everything, and I believe at this point she doesn't even remember what it was like to have both Nathan and I under the same roof. She's adjusting so well.

Things are still going well. There have been some crazy financial issues that have arisen (like my mortgage lender raising my rate $125, which I had removed, by the way!), but I have always been good with money. I feel constantly blessed that I got the job I did because without that opportunity, none of this would be possible. I also feel incredibly blessed to have a mom who is way too overbearingly supportive! :)

Let's do some pics. I'll try to post more party ones when I have then...