Confessions of a Blogaholic

Today was Ry's bday party (by the way, Jess and Carla--have totally gotten your comments, but keep forgetting to go back and approve to post!!! Will do as soon as I remember!). Rylee had such a good day. For the last month or so, Nathan has texted me pictures of all the cool things he has gotten for his party for her: a princess dress for her to wear, a custom cake, a table and chair gift set, etc etc. And to be honest, I just couldn't afford and didn't have the time to make it a huge deal this year. We reused decorations from last year, bought a premade cake that I just added a few decorations to, bought a couple pizzas for lunch, and I bought he an art easel (on sale!) for her gift. I was feeling pretty crummy about not giving her the big shindig Nathan is throwing...but then I saw how happy and engaged she was with her party. Mom had bought her a blue polka dot dress to wear (adorable picture below), she ate her piece of pizza like a happy champ, opened all of her gifts without getting bored, thanked everyone for what they got her. When we sat down to open gifts, she leaned over and kissed my arm. I said, "did you just wipe your mouth mommy?" and she said, "no, kiss." Then she gave me another kiss and a hug--all without my asking. After everyone left, she napped from 1-5 (!!!), and when I went to wake her, she sat up and said, "happy birfday day, mommy!". She said that several more times as we made our way to the grocery store. I even let her stay up a little late tonight while we watched some of her favorite movie (Tangled), but by 8:20 (only 20 minutes after her usual bedtime), she said, "milky and night night, please.". She knows the routine and was ready to go.

It's not about the parent who spends the most money or even the parent who spends the most time. It's not about who does what for her or who spoils her rotten. When it comes down to it, a kid knows when someone truly loves them. Rylee knows that, and she's only 2. It feels good to be a half-decent parent sometimes.

Tomorrow I take off to Chicago for an international convention for work. It should be a good trip, but I have been running a lot the last couple of weeks, so I'll definitely be ready for the running to be over when I come back wednesday night and I'll be ready for a relaxing weekend next weekend when Ry is at her dad's (once again, one of those nice benefits to shared parenting). Rylee's actual birthday is Friday the 4, so I'll be working from home that day and spending some time with her.

May 11 is my court date to affirm the dissolution. At this point, it's a little up in the air what will happen in terms of Nathan's agreement to the dissolution. Not that he wants to back out, but he may or may not still agree to the custody schedule. Who knows...if not, the stress of the divorce will continue one for who knows how much longer :(. Luckily, Rylee is totally kept in the dark about everything, and I believe at this point she doesn't even remember what it was like to have both Nathan and I under the same roof. She's adjusting so well.

Things are still going well. There have been some crazy financial issues that have arisen (like my mortgage lender raising my rate $125, which I had removed, by the way!), but I have always been good with money. I feel constantly blessed that I got the job I did because without that opportunity, none of this would be possible. I also feel incredibly blessed to have a mom who is way too overbearingly supportive! :)

Let's do some pics. I'll try to post more party ones when I have then...

I have had a LONG few days.

Friday was Ry's last day with the babysitter she has had for a long time. Unfortunately, I had to make a tough decision, and I made it. I would never have expected the long chain of consequences to result from that decision, but it is what it is. I have to put my daughter's needs and our ability to have a happy life first.

So now Terri comes to stay with me from Monday through Thursday or Friday, depending on the week. I was pretty nervous about having another person in the house again, but Ry LOVES Terri. It has only been a couple days so far, but Ry already seems to be benefitting from her new ability to sleep without being woken up at 6:30. Terri is working on potty training, and she has a carseat so she can take Ry to story time at the library, Cosi, the zoo, the store, and play dates with her sister-in-laws kids. Even more beneficially, Ry and I are getting more time together because we can hang out in the morning some before I got to work and earlier in the evening because we're not just getting home at 6:00. So far, so good. Was it worth the consequences? In the long run, probably.

Work has been literally kicking my butt. This new position is perfect for me because it is a job in which my passions and my talents align pretty perfectly. This means that I love what I do, and I am good at it, but I tend to work all. The. Time. Both because I enjoy it and because I want to get things accomplished. Friday we received feedback on one of the projects we were working on. Again, because those lines between life and work blur so easily for me, I found myself working late on Friday, several hours on Sunday, until 7:00 last night, and finally getting a break today and leaving by 3:00. It has been long, exhausting work, but when I remind myself how doing this work is both totally life fulfilling AND allows me to support my household and live comfortably, it all seems incredibly worth it.

On the Ry front, I am still amazed by her everyday. Her birthday party (Carla-you guys are invited up, just keep forgetting to email!!!! Jess-I don't think they've invented teleportation devices to get you up that quickly, lol) is April 28 from 11-1. Nathan is doing a big, princess themed bash for her, but I'm going slightly low-key this year by just inviting family. Plus, the following day, I take off for a road trip to Chicago for a reading conference, so I want to just enjoy my Saturday and relax while enjoying the baby's 2nd birthday.

Back to being constantly amazed...ry LOVES books. I usually have to read her about FOUR books at bedtime, and even after that she says, "mommy, read da book!" and gets mad when we're done. We typically read Green Eggs and Ham, a Tinkerbell book, I Love You Through and Through, and Goodnight Moon. That's a LOT of night night story time!!!

She is so smart also. She's learning colors pretty well (though yellow and blue are her first guesses every time). She can count to 6. She still talks, talks, talks, and now she strings words together into almost complete sentences. Sunday, when Mom was getting ready to take her for a walk, Ey said, "I want Mommy shoes on outside walky, too.". She also likes to make decisions for herself. At night I ask if she wants Jammies or to sleep naked, and she usually chooses naked. In the morning, I (or Terri) ask her what she wants for breakfast and she'll tell you if she wants waffles, nana, juice, etc. she also tells you what she wants now, though I sometimes have to make her stop whining and say the word. Confession--I CANNOT stand whining. In fact, I am prepping to begin instituting some time out if only to put an end to the whining. Regardless, she is so funny and so smart and so observant (and so bossy), and I think that despite all my own personal drama with the divorce and the many many other personal crises I have going on, I think she is turning out wonderfully!!

As always...