Confessions of a Blogaholic

Tonight, my B.O.E. decided to enforce the "RIF" of my HS principal, move around the remaining principals, and give a new, inexperienced principal a position.

Recently, my union decided to freeze our steps for a year despite the fact that our base salary is in the lowest percentile in the state and we have only had a 1.5% raise in the last 5 years. Additionally, we pay 30% of our insurance premium (cadillac plan my boo-tay).

A board member, as a result of the decisions tonight, resigned.

My district is on a slippery slope, heading downhill fast, and I feel like I'm putting every bit of extra energy I have into trying to save it to no avail. I've picked up that building rep position to try a "be the change you want to see in people." Meaning, I want people to be more active and to care, so I am more active and caring. I'm working through so much curriculum stuff because I want to make the school better, even though we consistently rank "excellent" on our state report card. I care and care and care and do and do and do, and I'm not sure it has the desired effect.

So...I'm reaching a crossroads this year. This is my 4th year at my current school and my 5th year in education, making me a mid-career teacher--can you believe that? 4+ years makes you "mid-range". I'm also nearing the end of my 2-year contract and getting ready to take on my 5-year contract. I'm at the point of no return--do I stay on at N. or do I move on before I'm too expensive to go elsewhere?

Honestly, I don't know what to do. I'm not used to being in a school where so few people care about what happens to the school as a whole. I'm used to G., my alma mater, where school spirit poured out of the walls. I miss that feeling. What the school lacks in spirit and support, though, they make up in opportunity. I've been able to take on so many leadership roles because there is such a small staff (not to mention the fact that nobody else takes the roles, lol). I've also committed to things that I want to see through to the end (like the work I've done to implement RtI), but I don't know if my commitment to these initiatives is enough to make me feel better about my environment. I also have a lot of freedom at a smaller school--I teach what I want, essentially. I work with a great "department" (all 4 of us!), who gets along, collaborates, talks about English stuff, but I miss the community vibe that goes along with working in a big school. I don't get the staff parties or going out after a tough day.

I know, in my heart, that I am meant to eventually do something with policy and curriculum. I know this because I came to the realization this summer, when I was doing all this research and work and studying curriculum theory and the CCSS and all the state regulations and educational history, that I enjoy doing this kind of work. I want to be the person at ODE who studies federal and state laws and creates curricular materials based on them. I want to be a curriculum consultant and teach people how to interpret requirements. What I don't know is what path I need to take to reach this ultimate career goal. I feel like there's a pressure on me now to be molded into the curriculum coordinator position at N., but I don't know that I want that kind of position in that kind of environment. I also don't know if the trade-offs (mobile classroom, more restrictions, a set curriculum, more money etc.) are enough to make a bigger school district a better option for me.

What I do know is that actual teaching is starting to feel like my "second job" beneath being a professional student and studier of education theory and methodology. It's almost as if I moreso prefer to study the theory and methods and help other people figure out how to do them than I prefer to make them happen in my own classroom. It's like I'm losing my love for teaching; don't get me wrong, though, I still love teaching, but if given the option to either 1) work on lesson plans, or 2) work on reading articles at ASCD and books by educational theorists, I'm more likely to choose 2.

I don't like feeling like I'm part of a community that doesn't support its school system. If I leave, though, I'm not "being the change I want to see in others," I'm being a part of the problem at N. If I stay, though, I alone am not doing anything to bring about a solution to the problem either. I don't know what to do; I don't know what I'm meant to do.

Saturday night was pretty awful with the noisy fireworks and my poor terrified child. I brought her into bed with me (Nathan was at a car show with Rocky) and coaxed her to sleep. Just when she would finally let out a little snore...*Bam* a firework would explode, and I'd hold my breath thinking, "Don't wake up, don't wake up." Undoubtedly, seconds later, she'd let out a wail, and I'd have to do it all over again. It was awful and annoying and I SERIOUSLY wish my neighbors had more common sense.

Today, we took Ry to her first parade. The first half hour or so she squirmed wildly, probably because she had no clue why we were sitting on the sidewalk staring at people on the opposite sidewalk. But finally, the parade started, and she seemed to have a good time. She got a sucker out of the deal at least :)

It's July now and my calendar is starting to clear up a bit as all the administrators (and my mentor for the internship) are taking their vacations. I've been busy, but it's been awesome!

Rylee has an ever-growing vocabulary. I think she starts saying something and it takes us a few days to pick up on the new "word", but it's funny because even once she has learned a word, she sometimes trips over her tongue when trying to say it.

Words she can say and things she can do:
"Dada" and "Dadeeeeeee" (She likes to draw out ending vowel sounds)
"mama" (though she prefers saying daddy...)
"bubble"
"doggie"
"Kit Kaaaaaaaaaaaaaa" (Kitty Kat)
"duckie"
"Buh-bye"

She can also:
blow kisses
give "baby kisses" (those open-mouthed ones with a muah sound)
go down the stairs the right way (backwards)
open and close doors
get up and down on the couch
and she's peed in the potty twice (totally accidentally, but she did it)

Every day it's something new. She's pretty awesome!

Have I mentioned that Rylee loves to read. I mean, she LOVES to read. She will sit with a book for 10 minutes and just flip through the pages. *sigh* a girl after my own heart :)

I love the days that when they are over you can sit back and say, "Wow....today I made something of myself."

Ry has a potty. I know, she's only 13 months, probably too early, but she's a pretty smart cookie. And I figure since she sees potty training going on at the sitters, maybe she'll pick it up from the kids. But really, who WANTS to pee on this pretty thing:

If you've stuck around long enough to see this post, congrats! Sorry such LOOONG spans of time seem to keep happening between posts, but now that it's summer, I should be able to post a bit more frequently (depending on if Rylee's ok with that, lol).

The last few months, as always, have been pretty insane. This past Tuesday was my last official day with students, and unlike other years/teachers, I didn't have my countdown going. In fact, the last day caught me TOTALLY off-guard. I had stacks of graded papers that never got returned, I hadn't collected textbooks, my room was still a mess. I was completely unprepared. I really don't know what happened this year, it just went faster than all 3 of my other teaching years.

In May, I started both an Administrative Technology in Education class as well as my Administrative internship. By January, I should have finished everything necessary to apply for my admin license. Whoop! For my internship, I have to do like 110 hours of activities to fulfill 16 directives that all begin with words like "directing", "scheduling", "managing", "training", and "mentoring." I have to do 6 interviews with curriculum directors outside of my district (3 of which I already have scheduled to do in the next two weeks), attend several state and national conferences, and basically serve as my district's curriculum director's free assistant for the duration of the project. She's putting me in charge of the Race to the Top stuff assuming our district stays involved. She's also WONDERFUL because she is so well-connected and she seems so excited to work with an intern. She's asked around about me (I've heard from others), and she seems to want me to head-up some stuff. So, yay!

I also got the spot as my building's union rep for next year--Yay, again! I'm on the contract negotiations committee, and we meet Tuesday evening to negotiate with the Board. So exciting. I'm looking forward to 1) Learning how all this works, 2) Learning how to communicate in conflict situations more appropriately, and 3) Being a more active person in my profession.

In addition, Nate and I have been doing some work to the house recently. In the week before Ry's birthday, we hired a contractor to come out and do our deck. It turned out beautifully! Nate posted some pics on his Facebook page, but he did it directly from his phone, so I can't find them on the computer :( Next to our 16 x 20 deck is a 10 x 10 patio with the firepit. Next to the patio is a small line of 3 arborvitae bushes that we hope will eventually make a "natural" privacy screen. We moved the canopy and outdoor furniture onto the deck. I'd say outside of the house and Rylee's conception, the deck is one of the best investments we have ever made. We use it all the time between dinner, grilling, hanging out, playing with Ry. We sit out there a lot!! And with a DVR, who needs to be inside during this beautiful weather anyhow?

Ry's birthday was May 4, and the weekend before, we had a little party at our house. She got all up in her smash cake! I made rainbow-layered cupcakes for us to eat and a rainbow-layered cake for her. She seemed to have a blast, and we were glad to have the Ramsey family over as Rylee just loves Ethan and Aly!

Rylee gets more amazing every day. She responds to commands now (that sounds weird, sorry, I know she's not a dog!), like "go get your shoes" and "give it to daddy" and "put it in the trash." She can make it all the way up and down stairs by herself. She can communicate some, though EVERYTHING is "da da"!! She says, "bah-bah" and waves for bye-bye, goes to her high chair and grabs it to let us know she's hungry, grabs the door hand to the garage when she's ready to go somewhere. She dances ALL THE TIME--to commercials, phone ringtones, radio, toys. She LOVES going for walks and MOVING FURNITURE!! Our chairs on constantly moved across the floor :)

I've been steadily continuing to lose weight. It's crazy, actually, because no matter what I do, I'm not gaining it back. I'm still eating whole grains and lots of veggies/fruits. I take my one-a-day, 2 fish oil vitamins, and 2 calcium supps (at breakfast and dinner), and that's about it. I don't really work out outside of taking Ry on walks and playing with her. I eat a pudding cup about every other day, and I still love desserts. I guess it's just in moderation now, or something. Every time I get on the scale (whenever I think to do it), I lose about another pound. It's pretty cool, actually. I'll let you know when I hit my plateau, lol.

Well, I've got to get these last few essay exams finished, so I'm off to do that. I'll be back soon, I promise :)

It has been soooooo long again. I have to make it a point to get on here more often, which I can guarantee will happen once summer comes! I've been so busy this school year, but I love it.

First, I wanted to share my new education blog Turn On Your Brain. I decided to start this up because I find that I am always reading articles online or interesting teacher-type books and wanting to discuss them. I love talking about education, but I haven't found that many people with a shared interest. If you're into that kind of thing, please sign up to follow my new blog and be sure to PARTICIPATE IN SOME DISCUSSION!!! I'm really hoping to get some good dialog going!

Next, Rylee's walking. She started at 10 months taking 1 or 2 steps. So freaking cute. Within a week or two, she was going longer and longer. I think she got tired of falling so far behind the kids at the sitter's house :)

Everything is going so well for us. We had some people out to give us quotes on the deck and patio; hoping to get that done within a month. We bought Ry an awesome playset for her birthday--yeah, she's too young to use it right now, but she'll grow into it. I finished my class, scheduled the two I'm going to take this summer, and planned my fall internship. We're working on getting Ry's 1st birthday party together. Everything's great here!

Oh, boo! I have been trying to post some super cute videos but the uploader isn't working. I'll try again soon, I promise!