Confessions of a Blogaholic

Baby is measuring 7 pounds 6 ounces. She's gonna be a big'un, and I am beyond ready for her to get the heck out, but Big Bertha is hanging on...Maybe she knows it will be a long time until she can have chocolate again?

Amniotic level is at a 9, normal is 5-25cm.

Dilated 1 cm, 50% effaced, but head is not fully engaged yet.

Doc says he thinks I'll deliver in the next week. We'll see if he's right!

Here's Charlie, who has made himself at home in the baby's newborn napper.

Too cute...in all honesty, I'm fairly certain that when the baby comes home, the cats will be in hiding until she's 2!

Here's me at 37 weeks and 4 days. I am pretty darn big.

Stretch marks are amazing. They literally show up overnight. On Wednesday during my 36 week, I didn't have them. Then, BAM! Overnight, I had little purple marks all over my lower belly. Same thing has happened this week...I went from little purple marks (about 1/2 inch long) to BIG purple marks (2-3 inches long) overnight. I've been using cocoa butter this entire pregnancy, so I hope they disappear soon.

Tomorrow is my 38-weeks appointment. I have another growth ultrasound to check the baby's weight and, I assume, another nonstress test to check that the good ole' placenta is still doing its job. My mom is going with me to this appointment since Nathan has to work and there was no way to work this around his schedule.

Again, I ask you....Is it too much to ask that tomorrow be the day? I am still desperate. I don't have my hospital bag packed yet, but I feel like doing so will jinx me or something. Please...and I mean PLEASE let tomorrow be the day!

That was MY LAST shopping trip alone for at least the next three weeks. I went to Walmart, and the whole experience was HORRIBLE. Let me tell you what went wrong...

First, let me say that I got up at 7:45am to get to the store before the crowds, which worked perfectly, but it was about the ONLY good part of the trip.

Then, my trip got crazy...

1. There was a spot up front (like right up front!), but as I started to pull into it, I realized there were 4 carts sitting in the middle of it. So, I get out and have to push them out of the way. No biggie, but it was a start to all the annoyances.

2. I'm getting a cart and this little girl (like 7 or so) comes running out of nowhere and full-steam runs into my ass. Her mom says, "Watch where you're going!" to her, not me. No, "Say I'm sorry" or "excuse me." Let's teach our kids some manners, people.

3. The whole store was completely changed around and I couldn't find anything. Walmart is supposed to be a consistent standard for shoppers. You're supposed to go into one and be able to find everything because it should be in the same location as every other Walmart! Not the case.

4. I went to pick up a 25-pound bag of cat litter (yes, I know I am not supposed to pick things up that are that heavy), and I was struggling. Half of the struggle was my numb hands, and the other half was the weight and my full cart. Like 10 people walked by while I struggled and NONE of them offered to help. The cart was literally rolling backward because I was trying to set the litter on the bottom, and nothing. No one even tried to hold it in place.

5. I go to check out and one of my yogurts has exploded all over the place in my cart. I asked the cashier if he has a paper towel, and he says no. I say, "Ok, it's all over the belt, and I just want to clean it off for you." He says, "Well, I don't have any." So, I look at the next register over, see paper towels, leave his lane to go and get them and clean it myself. WTF? So much or trying to help someone out.

6. Now....here's part 1 of the kicker! I pick up my carton of Dr. Thunder (we NEVER get pop, so this is like a treat for us), and it breaks ALL OVER THE PLACE. There are cans rolling everywhere. Instead of helping me fumble around and struggle to reach them on the floor, the other customers in line AND the oh-so-cooperative cashier start bitching because it's taking me so long. Bending, squatting, and picking things up are NO LONGER EASY FOR ME, people. SOMEONE SHOULD HELP A PREGNANT LADY OUT!!!!

7. Part 2 of the kicker happened in the parking lot. By this point, I was sore, had to pee, and was sweating like a rotisserie chicken. I'm loading all the crap in my Jeep hatch, and a car pulls up with her turn signal on to take my spot. Fine. I don't care about that. I start to walk (more like mosey, since that seems to be my current walking speed) the cart to the cart thingy and the lady rolls her window down and says (in an extremely bitchy tone), "Um...excuse me, I am waiting on your spot." I look at her like, "uh...ok. And you want me to what...?" I finish moseying the cart over while she throws some exasperated hand signals around in her impatient bitchiness. I get in my jeep, start it up, and....can't even move because lady has me blocked in. Finally, she reverses, like a foot (oh, thanks so much!). I pull out but, of course, cannot pull forward to get out. She throws her hands around again (I wonder if she has tourette's?) before backing up an appropriate amount and I can finally move. I wave at her and smile as I pass--after all, my life is obviously so much better than hers.

I have 18 days left until my due date. At no point during those 18 days am I going to go to any store at all by myself. I'm done. Finished.

I believe myself to be a terribly patient person. I have to be in my line of work. For example, working with freshmen, I will be asked the same question (after I've already given the directions and written them on the board) over 27 times in one day. Let me elaborate. I can give a writing assignment and say, "You need to write between 5-7 sentences". Then, I will write it on the board "5-7 sentences per answer". Then, being a bit of a smartass, I'll have the kids look at me and repeat after me, "5-7", (them) "5-7", (me) "Sentences", (them) "Sentences." No lie...in less than 5 minutes, at least 3 students per class period will say, "Wait...how many sentences did she say?" And I will calmly reply, "5-7." Kids can be exasperating, but I have the patience of a saint to deal with them every day and to love my job.

I do not, however, have much patience left with the pregnancy. I feel like absolute crap. I can only sleep on my left side at night now, and anytime I try to roll over, which takes a lot of grunting, pulling, and effort in the first place (I'm thinking a crane could help with these endeavors), I wake up less than a few minutes later to roll back to my left side. I have to sleep with 5 pillows! 5 PILLOWS to prop all the portions of my body into position. My feet are constantly Shrek-sized; I mean FREAKISHLY disproportionate monstrosities of their former selves. I have stopped tying my tennis shoes and instead tuck the shoelaces into the sides of the shoes because my feet will not fit otherwise. My right hand is now constantly numb--it used to come and go throughout the night an maybe last a little into the day, but now, it is ALL DAY LONG. The tips of my thumb, forefinger, and middle finger haven't had any feeling at all for at least the last week. Then, there's this double/triple chin thing that has grown the last couple weeks. I thought your weight was supposed to basically stop raising in the last month or so of pregnancy, but I have watched my double/triple chin growing exponentially each day. It is absolutely awful to look at myself. I feel so gross and disgusting.

I can't get up, I can't bend over, I can't stop sleeping, my clothes are starting to not fit again, and the right side of my ribs feel like they are broken on the inside.

But still....no real signs of the baby making her grand entrance into the world. I've had a few braxton hicks contractions here and there (very rare) and what feels like some intense punches to the cervix every now and then, but other than that...nothing. I feel like this baby is never coming out. She feels HUGE. I've had no cervical checks or anything, and without any reassurance that anything is happening, I feel that much more pessimistic.

I try bribing her nightly, because if she's anything like her daddy, it should work. Every night, I promise her increasing amounts of money if she decides to come out. We started with $20..."Mommy will give you $20 if you get out of her tonight!" The other night, Nathan jumped in, "Daddy will give you a CAR one day if you get out!" So far, it's not working. Maybe she's stubborn like her mother...if that's the case, she'll come when she's no longer comfortable in her super comfy bed.

Sad day...Ok, not really, but I am keeping my fingers crossed that this baby will come sooner rather than later!

Baby did perfectly on the nonstress test. Baseline HB of 140bpm and A-cells (you want to see a spike of at least 15bpm for at least 15 sec at least 2 times in 20 minutes) of 160bpm. The good ole' placenta is still doing its job.

Next appointment is next Thursday. I will be 37 weeks by then. After that, we have another growth ultrasound at 38 weeks to check baby's weight, but I'm still hoping and praying that I go into labor before then!

Still sick. Feeling like poop. Good thing I'm off work this week!

I'm in the middle of spring break and I can honestly say I'll be ready for a vacation next week, lol.

Moving has been tough. I don't feel like I've done much since I can't lift and all that, but it has been mentally and physically exhausting. I would NEVER recommend moving this late in pregnancy, ESPECIALLY if you're going from an apartment to a house. I have to thank all of the awesome people who have been coming over the last few days to help us get our house set up. My mom helped out with load after load of laundry (mostly baby stuff from the shower) as well as putting things away. While I may not know where most of our stuff is at this moment, I am so glad it has been put away. Nate's mom has been coming over to paint and we're almost finished with the painting we plan to do right now. We've got a few rooms (dining room, sitting room, bedrooms, etc.) that are going to be just sitting for awhile. Also have to thank the men...Bill, Kirby, Nate, and Brian, who did all of the heavy lifting--ok, ok, ALL of the LIFTING--and got all of our stuff moved in.

The living room furniture came today, so we have everything we bought/ordered in the house at this point. Now, it's just a matter of putting things away.

The house is looking awesome. I'll post some before and after pictures as soon as we get some rooms complete :)

In baby news, I am absolutely ready to be done being pregnant. I know I've said it before, but it feels like every day I feel worse...every day I have some new symptom...and every day I feel that much more finished with being pregnant. My newest symptom is a lovely numbness in my fingers. It's just my fingertips, mainly my thumbs, index, and middle fingers on both hands, but they are pretty much numb most of the day. I read online about pregnancy induced carpal tunnel syndrome, and I'm hoping that's what it is. It is super obnoxious and annoying, though, and it's kept me awake most nights for about the last week. It's hard to do things (dry hair, put baby furniture together, cook, eat...) when you can't feel your thumbs!

Midwife appointment tomorrow. I know it's bad, but I'm almost hoping I'll be one step closer to being induced...Nathan wants at least another week to get settled in, though.

I still haven't had a free opportunity to work on the thank you cards from the baby shower, so if you're waiting on one, give me just a little more time before you start considering how rude I am. I'm trying, I promise!

Finally, Lifestyle communities suck. DO NOT rent from them. EVER. We had the WORST apartment move-out experience with them, so TRUST ME...DO NOT RENT FROM LIFESTYLE!!!

EDIT: I should add...Neither Nathan nor I feel like we are bragging about our home when we talk about it. To be honest, neither of us feel like this is really happening. It's as if we are talking about someone else's house---"Look at the garden tub in these people's house!! Isn't it awesome!!" We feel so lucky to even have FOUND this home, not to mention to be able to AFFORD it!! Are we proud? Oh, absolutely. We are so proud of all the work we've done in 7.5 years to get to this point. But, we aren't bragging. We love this house, but it's going to take some time before we feel like it is truly ours.

NOW I am feeling a little stressed, a little anxious, a little overwhelmed. I've managed to keep it all in check and under control for the last 3 months, but now everything is hitting me like a brick. This is going to be one HELLUVA week, and I'm so nervous/anxious/stressed that I've been stuck to the bathroom all evening.

I have lists everywhere...lists of things to do for school (including all of my end-of-year paperwork and inventory, just in case I don't come back from spring break as a result of my 36-week midwife appointment), lists of things for my advisor activites (final requisitions, payments, instructions for the sub), copies to make for the next few weeks and units to get organized and sorted for the substitute, lists of things for the house including who is going where and doing what during the move and where our furniture is located (we have dressers/couch to pick up at Geemz's, cedar chest and bed from MIL's, desk and assorted other things in our trailer), and finally, lists of things to buy as soon as we are in the house (including baby essentials that we didn't get at the shower and replacement items for things we are throwing away when we move, like the kitchen trashcan).

I mean, there are so many lists I could really just use a notebook to keep everything organized. Worse than the lists themselves is the knowledge that I will ultimately forget many things and have to find time to take care of them.

This is going to be a mess. I'm already a mess. I hope I can find the time and peace of mind to sleep at night!